Sunday, May 06, 2007

What I did before breakfast on Sunday morning

Took me a while to compose this review of some randomly chosen RSS articles from the Doordarshan website. I would like the country's foremost media house to be an example to others, even internationally. However, this is far from being true, as I shall point out in the context of some recent article of yours, enclosed here. Note that these are all from RSS feeds of one single day! (Sunday, 06 May 2007). The URLs do not appear, from their nomenclature, to be permanent at all (I expect from a web based media agency to have permanent URLs to their articles - with or without subscription).

1. Campaigning for last phase of UP polls to end today

> "The Lacklustre electioneering,......."

Incorrect punctuation: Why is the first letter of "lacklustre" in uppercase?

> ".....political leaders and cinestars canvassing for the respective party candidates."

Perhaps "for their respective", and not "for the respective"?

> Bahujan Samaj Party (BSP) supremo Mayawati is taking on the rivals with single handidly......"

"single handidly"? This couldn't even have passed the electronic spellchecker. I presume the writer means "single handedly". With the i in the second word, and not an e.

> "....Mayawati is taking on the rivals with single handidly...."

Unnecessary use of the word "with" here.

> " addressing series of meetings daily."

Missing article: "by addressing a series of meeting" is preferred.

> "......and cricketer Navjot Singh Siddhu sought vote for their respective candidates."

Missing article: "sought a vote", and not "sought vote". Unless they were seeking more than one vote - in which case, it should be "sought votes", and not "sought vote". At least, here it's "their respective", and not "the respective" as a couple of paragraphs before.

Apart from this, the twice used word "cinestar" does not exist in the O.E.D., and "supremo" (for Mayawati) is only an informal term. I wonder why she should be designated as a "supremo", but Sonia Gandhi gets to be called "president" (of their respective political parties)?

2. Rahul is fine: Shastri

> "'s manager Ravi Shastri.."

Missing article: "the team's manager" and not "team's manager". Also, commas are missing before and after "Ravi Shastri".

> "....he is on rest following doctor's advise."

"Advise" (with an s) is a verb, the correct noun form is "advice" (with a c); hence "doctor's advice", and not "doctor's advise".

> "....from Rudra Pratap Singh Saturday, the penultimate day of the...."

One presumes that the gentleman's name does not include a day of the week: hence, a comma is missing after "Rudra Pratap Singh", and a preposition ("on") before "Saturday".

> "Team's Administrative Manager Surendra Bhave said...."

Missing article: "The team's" and not "Team's". Also, two commas are missing; hence "..Manager, Surendra Bhave, said.." and not "..Manager Surendra Bhave said..."

3. 2-member committee to discuss contracts issue

> "The committee will reportedly discuss the issue with the players after the Bangladesh tour."

Error in semantics: "Reportedly, the committee will discuss...." or "The committee will, reportedly, discuss....", but not "The committee will reportedly discuss...".

> "The two-member committee will also decide the future coach for Indian cricket team. For this they will meet in the third week of May."

Missing article: "the Indian..." and not "Indian". Also, the latter sentence, in a four sentence article, does not add to the professional appearance of the article. I would prefer the two to be combined into "The two-member committee, in the third week of May, will also decide the future coach.....".

4. Praful Patel to welcome first Delhi-Surat Indian flight

> "The first flight of Indian from New Delhi will land at Surat..."

But this is not the first flight of Indian from New Delhi! Perhaps the first flight of Indian from New Delhi to Surat.

> "This flight will operate on daily basis..."

Missing article: "on a daily basis" and not "on daily basis".

> "...sprucing up the airport facilities in order to...."

Superfluous article: "sprucing up airport facilities" is preferred.

5. Absconding TRS MLA likely to surrender today

> "...against him on May three and..."

May three? This is no way to designate the the third day of May. Funnily enough, the article goes on to use another, more appropriate, representation "...police on 3rd May in..".

> " obtain fake passport....."

Missing article: "obtain a fake passport" and not "obtain fake passport".

6.Delhi chess festival to begin today

> "A month-long Delhi State Chess Championships is....."

Choose from "The month-long Delhi State Chess Championship...", or "A month-long chess championship in Delhi....". In any case, the "s" at the end of "championships" is to be dropped.

7. India go down 1-0 to Aus in Azlan Shah hockey


> "Indian hockey team has opened campaign with..."

Missing article: "The Indian" and not "Indian". Also, prefer "opened its campaign" to "opened campaign".

> "..satisfied with his boy's performance."

Misplaced apostrophe. "his boys' performance" and not "his boy's performance".

> "......denying them any clear shot in the goal."

Prefer "clear shot at the goal" to "clear shot in the goal".

> "William Xalxo and Harpal Singh was effective...."

"Were", not "was". I.e. "William Xalxo and Harpal Singh were effective....".

> "Prabodh Tirkey and Vikram Kanth, who arrived just a day earlier to replace Ignace Tirkey, was up to...."

Prefer "..who had arrived..." to "...who arrived". Again, "Were", not "was".

> "It was the Australians...."

Yet again, "Were", not "was".

> "....reducing India's attack to far and few."

Prefer ending the sentence with "....reducing India's attack." (singular). Or ".....India's attacks...". (plural)

> "Indians made last ditch...."

Missing article: "The Indians made" and not "Indians made".

> " was good a showing.."

Switched words: "a good showing" and not "good a showing".

> "...we are moving in right direction.."

Missing article: "the right direction" and not "right direction".

No comments: